The End of a Beautiful Relationship

This is me in December 2008 picking up my brand new Triumph Street Triple R. It was the start of an amazing journey which, seven months later and almost 5,000 miles on the clock, is now over. Look how happy I am with the bike of my dreams. It felt like it was made for me. I became a better and more confident rider. I thought it would never end. I believed that there would never be another bike for me. It never crossed my mind that another motorbike would turn my head. I couldn't contemplate such a thing. We had so much fun together. What was I thinking of? But I was so wrong. I feel sad saying goodbye to my loyal companion, who's so sweet it's untrue. "It's not you! It's me!" I keep saying over and over again. It's like the end of a relationship, when you know the other person hasn't done anything to deserve such harshness. But you can't help how you feel. You just don't 'fancy' them anymore. I haven't a bad word to say about the Street Triple. It has no faults. In fact it may be too perfect .... see, I'm doing it again. Like being perfect is a negative thing.

What's the point in carrying on though, when every time I get my leathers on, all I want to do is ride the VTR1000. This was bought for 'sharing' but I want if for myself. And it looks like that's going to be the case. I feel like I've grown up and need a more 'adult' relationship. This monster v twin is difficult to describe in words that don't mention rudness, anarchy and lots of vulgar swearing. You can't help being a bit naughty on it. It would be a crime to have the Triple sitting in the garage. It's a flirty litte devil. But our flirtation is a thing of the past. I'll always love you and will think of you often dear Triple. You'll forever hold a special place in my heart. But it's time to move on .... until the next one comes along ;-D

NW200 2009 (Part 2)

What can I say? It was windy! If that wooden sign hadn't been there I would have ended up back in Chorley in no time. Who cares about the weather? I LOVE EVERYTHING about Northern Ireland so it matters not. The stunning scenery, the beautiful warm people and of course the best road racing in the world bar none. It was waterproofs all the way. Look at me and Andy, haha! I thought getting seats in the grandstand was a good idea. York Corner is a great spot, however the grandstand wasn't under cover so we were open to the elements for the duration. See how eager we are, sitting there with programme in hand. First ones there. The racing was brilliant although we were so disappointed that the last two races were cancelled due to the changeable weather. As far as accommodation goes, our B & B was superb. Bengore House in Balintoy, which happens to be my favourite place on the whole planet. Where else would you get offered a hot water bottle? I always shed a tear when I leave NI as it feels like home to me. I can't wait until the day I return. Come rain or rain, I'll be there.

Ze Enz

My Dad was holidaying in France, staying on a lovely caravan site. A Dutch man approached him and asked, "How do you kill ze enz?" Thinking he was talking about 'hens' Dad quipped, "We ring their necks!" "No, no!" Said the Dutch man "Ze enz, ze little ones?" "Well!" Replied Dad "We just let them run around." "NO NO!" Said the Dutchman, looking rather confused. "ZE ENZ!!" (ants).
I can just picture Dad, attempting to ring an ant's neck. Dear me!

Eee By Gum

My parent's friend was on holiday in Germany and was walking by a pond. He spotted someone fishing and shouted over (in a broad Wigan accent) to the man in his boat, "Nah, as tha copped out?" The man shouted back "Sorry, but I don't speak German!"

Our Trip to the North West 200

The weather played a big part in our long journey (and for the entire stay) to Northern Ireland this year. It always does when you are riding a motorcycle.
We set off at 9am on Friday 15th May in heavy rain. It was still raining at Holyhead in North Wales, where we caught the ferry to Dublin.
Lots of fellow bikers were doing the same trip. Some more equipt than others. But all eager to get to the North where the road racing was to take place the next day.
It was the lucky day for the motorcyclist riding in front of us, after disembarking the ferry. Andy waved him to the road-side after observing a nail had punctured his tyre. Always at the ready, Andy produced a puncture repair kit and mini compressor. The rain was teeming down but the job was completed within a few minutes and the grateful biker went on his way.
The next task ... How do we get out of Dublin without going through the toll tunnel? Have you been to Dublin? Road signs are very few and far between. It was raining heavily and the roads were extremely congested. We also had a long journey ahead in order to get to the north coast before dark.We started to filter through the rush hour traffic, when all of a sudden BEEEEEP! BEEEEEP! BEEEEP! I turned my head and noticed the car next to me was winding down it's window. I thought I was going to get a mouthful of abuse from the driver, angry at me filtering through the traffic.
Driver: (soft Southern irish lilt) "Are you off to the 'North West'?"
Ali: "Yeh! Are we on the right road?"
Driver: "Aye, you're on the right road. Go straight ahead from here. Anyway, we're heading on up tomorrow. So we'll see ya there!"
At once I felt at ease. All the stress of the journey so far, melted away and was replaced by laughter. That funny moment will stay with me forever.
It was about 8pm when we hit Lisburn. We were starving and headed for Pizza Hut.
Our young waitress was a delight and proceded to write down map directions for us. We didn't question, we just accepted the directions, totally amazed at the helpfulness of this young person.
Don't you just love the Irish?
By the way, we arrived at our beautiful B&B (Bengore House) at 10.30pm.

Refreshing Beauty Advert

As I'm a beauty therapist, and self employed to boot, I'm forever on the look-out for new ideas and ways to promote my services.
A lovely client came into the salon today with her six year old daughter. The delightful little girl sat, reading out-loud to us as I carried out my treatment.
We couldn't keep our faces straight as we heard the hilarious words come from this child's lips ....
" Are you ugly!? Are you very very ugly!?
Do you look like The Creature from the Black Lagoon? Only Worse!?
Then today is your lucky day!
HENRY'S MARVELLOUS MAKEOVERS.
Only £2 for an exciting new you!!!!!!!"
What a bargain! I think I'll give Henry a call right away.
Do you think it would work for my next advertising campaign? You never know? It would certainly make a refreshing change.

In Bruges

I didn't really want to watch this film because:
1) I'm not a big fan of Colin Farrell.
2) I don't like violent films, and I had a feeling this film was going to be just that.
However, I do like Brendan Gleeson. So I sat, and quite soon became transfixed at this unusual mix of tragedy and humour.
The characters were superbly cast, especially Ralph Fiennes as the psychotic cockney 'Godfather' figure.
The film was enchanting, witty and yet grotesque at the same time. The three main characters had a kind of code-of-honour and deep admiration and respect for one another. This misguided code-of-honour was what ultimately caused the tragic events that unfolded.
How violence can be made humourous, I do not know. But it was cleverly achieved at times.
Colin Farrell is stunning, naturally funny and great to see with Brendan Gleeson.
A must-see film! I loved it! Highly recommended!